When ever I have a chance to cut class I go to the band room. A matter of fact, once I didn't realize I was suppose to go to class after an in school concert and just stayed at the band room but my teacher let it slip, lol
aligned with Common Core Writing Standards 1 & 2 - I would switch the roof and foundation. I think it makes more sense to build from the bottom up. The topic sentence should be the foundation and the closing sentence should protect your paragraph.