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grande verdade :)

Men can focus on two things at once***Research for possible future project.

ohhhhhh shit!

Actually made me chuckle out loud, since "for shits and giggles" has always been one of my husband's favorite phrases.

nvr make eye contact...

probably shouldn't close your eyes either!unless you WANT them to see you eating the banana.funny all I can think of when I hear banana now a days is minions.this was freakin funny

the only 2 reasons i listen to voicemails.. 1. if i don't know the number. 2. to get rid of the icon on the screen

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

LOL!

LOL!

I'd be such an awesome mega rich person, I just know it! haha

Dear Lord, all I ask is a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make me a bad person. I've been making that deal for years.

Perfect

i have cdo its like ocd but all the letters are in alphabetical order as they should be funny quote

Would love to send some people there !

I'm Tired Of Your Shit. Go Have Your Period In A Shark Tank, Bitch But seriously though.

*Disclaimer - I DO NOT agree that as a group men are rather stupid. I just recognize this line from a Mary Poppin's song we danced to when my dd was young. Good memories. :o)

*Disclaimer - I DO NOT agree that as a group men are rather stupid. I just recognize this line from a Mary Poppin's song we danced to when my dd was young.

Annoying girls who like to drunk text my boyfriend need this

Texting has grown so much over the years. I probably don't answer my phone, nearly three times the amount i text. I LOvE texting, its just so much easier to talk and get everything you need to say out at once.

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