It was a surreal period in time. No one can even try to imagine what it is like until they also are forced to endure it. This day for me as 23 years ago on May still feels wrong that my dad died that many years ago.
Mistakes, failures, grief, loss, endings ... sit with it. Nourish it with presence and acceptance. Your mindset is everything.
During the grief process, you may be thrust instantly and without warning, into misery as the emotional wave swells and descends. Remind yourself that you have had these feelings before and that eventually it passes.